Barry Venison
“I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock”
Brian Moore
"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."
Dave Bassett
"An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal."
Garry Lineker
“There’s no in-between – you’re either good or bad. We were in-between”
Gary Lyon
"And Farmer has now scored 19 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season"
George Best
“I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted!”
Ian McNail
“We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized”
Ian Rush
“I couldn’t settle in Italy- it was like living in a foreign country”
Jimmy Hill
"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal."
Johan Cryuff
"Italians can't win the game against you, but you can lose the game against the Italians."
Kevin Keegan
“The ref was vertically 15 yards away”
"Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose."
"The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23!”
Lawrie McMenemy
"When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1"
Lee Hendrie
“I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right”
Les Ferdinand
“I was surprised but I always say nothing surprises me in football (soccer)”
Mark Draper
“I’d like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona” ofinal whistle blows and we’re knocked out”
Phil Woosnam
“The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does”.
Robbie Earl
“If you’re 0-0 down, there’s no one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright”
Ron Atkinson
“I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat”
"On another night, they'd have won 2-2."
"Zero-zero is a big score."
"Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's - movement and positioning”
"I would not say he is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.”
Ron Greenwood
"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales."
Ronaldo De Lima
“We lost because we didn’t win”
“I'm sure sex wouldn't be so rewarding as this World Cup. It's not that sex isn't good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.”
Ruud Gullit
“We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percent that cost us the match”
"To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch"
Steve Lomas
“Germany are a very difficult team to play…they had 11 internationals out there today”
Stuart Pearce
“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel”
Terry Butcher
“The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath”
Thierry Henry
“Sometimes in football (soccer) you have to score goals”
Ugo Ehiogu
“I’m as happy as I can be- but I have been happier”
Vinnie Jones
“Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win”
Do you know any other funny soccer quotes, add new quotes in comment and they will be added to the list
Credit to funny quotes hub page and funny quotes from soccer geek
